NEW BLOG!

Visit Roan's new blog at:

http://raisingroan.wordpress.com

"I Drive!!" (2 Going on 16)

Roan's latest obsession is pretending to drive the Subaru. He LOVES putting music CDs in and out of the stereo, pressing all the buttons, and looking in the mirrors. When he's in his car seat (and painfully not in control), he shouts out requests, referring to CDs by name. Here is a typical conversation with Roan in the car:

"Mama, listen Mooo-sic class tunes!!"

"How do you ask nice?"

"Pwweease!"

"Mama, youder [louder]!"

"How do you ask?"

"Youder, pwease."

"Mama, crack-crack [cracker]."

"How do you ask nice?"

"Mama, pwease, crack-crack."

"Mama, I listen 'Once' [soundtrack]!"

"Mama, youder!"

"Good song!" (clapping at the end of a song)

"Mama, I hear trash truck."

"Mama, can't see trash truck."

"OOooooo, mama wook! Dump truck!"

"Mama, wa--er [water]."

"How do you ask nice?"

"Pwwease, mama, wa--er."

And on, and on, and on...

Kitchen #2: Buyer Beware

After spending hours and months surfing catalogs and the Web looking for a kitchen that wasn't plastic and a company that hadn't been caught red handed in lead paint, I thought I had finally found the most adorable, most affordable, most likely to be safe, most stylish little play kitchen on the market. After 3 of us spent 3 hours putting the thing together, we unveiled the world's best little kitchen on his birthday the way you unveil a shiny red convertible on your spoiled brat's 16th birthday. Unfortunately, the hip little retro red kitchen turned out out to be the most toxic smelling artifact in the entire free world. I'm talking headaches, nausea, can't-stand-to-be-in-the-same-room sort of choking. So we left it outside for days. Still gross. Left it outside for 2 weeks. Still gross. Left it outside for over a month! Still gross. Finally took the damn thing apart and sent it back to Texas, from whence it was distributed post-China. After a frustrated call to the EPA (having been referred by the American Lung Association for info on indoor pollution), I now know more than I ever wanted to know about VOCs, formaldehyde, and off-gassing. And I never want to buy another painted toy or pressed wood product again. Our kitchen designing friends in Texas (they actually handled it quite professionally) sent us a different kitchen (seen here), which hallelujah, did not emit a single odor upon opening the box. So, Roan is back to cooking. And if you want our advice, take a page from the Europeans and the Cohen brothers (" Unpainted Arizona!") and stick to the good old-fashioned unpainted, solid wood craftsmanship, or just give them a bunch of sticks, leaves, and stones to play with.

Deep in Conversation

Puzzle pieces easily double as phones.

The Things You Do

This is Casey talking on the "phone" (a puzzle piece in the shape of a giraffe).

This is Casey wearing a lego box on his head while sipping coffee (upon Roan's insistance).

I hang-a da branch!

This is Italian-mafia / rasta-Roan speech for, "I want to go hang from that branch" (btw, a ritual, if unsatisfied, leads to shrieking, crying, protest, and mayhem on route between the apartment and the car). He is trying to incorporate articles of speech into his Tarzan English, such as "the." He is also trying out past tense. Listening to him put the two together is sometimes hilarious.

"I drop-a da paci [pacifier]" turned into:

"I drop-id-id da paci."

Ghetto Jammies

Well, we think the photo speaks for itself. This is what you call homemade summer jammies recycled from springtime jammies - complete (or incomplete we should say) with cut-off sleeves, and one cut-off leg (the zipper runs down the left leg, so we could only cut off the foot on that side). You know George Lopez's "cut pants" and Eddie Murphy's mother's homemade hamburgers? That's what we're talkin about. Yeah, baby!

So very...

We love Roan's use of adjectives these days (see previous posts re: "beautiful," "disgusting," and "terrible"). He is now using the word "so" in his fragmented Tarzan English to express himself. One night Roan enthusiastically declared to the universe, "broccolis SO good!!"

Squeezing his stuffed puppies with delight: "Doggies so sweet!"

Looking at a wallet photo of himself: "so cute."

Unlike very, as explained by The American Heritage® Book of English Usage, the use of so "presumes the listener will be sympathetic with the speaker’s evaluation of the situation, or invites the reader to take a similar point view."

So far, we agree!

p.s. Amma's homemade bibs (as seen here) are so great!

The Pre-School Project

He got in! For those of you not familiar with east coast metropolitan insanity, getting a child into pre-school around here is like trying to get a great apartment in New York City. In May, we did a round of tours, put him on several waiting lists, and crossed our fingers for fall 2008. So, this September, Roan will have a place in the "2 Day 2's" class at Govans Presbyterian (2 days a week with other 2 year olds for 3 hours at a time). This is an exciting new change, and we hope the transition goes smoothly.

For our fellow Baltimore parents who curl up in stress at the very thought of finding a pre-school (as I did), read on for some tips. Hopefully this rundown of our experience can help save you some confusion, stress, and lost time. If anyone else willingly reads on, you must be really bored at work today!

A) There's no way around good old-fashioned networking. Use word of mouth to familiarize yourself with some of the choicer options, as it's difficult to research preschools on the internet. Many pre-school web sites are inadequately informative or non-existent. I recommend getting your hands on "The Parent's Pages" published by Baltimore's Child. Circle all the daycare/pre-schools you learn about through friends who have already done the footwork or who already have kids in school, and start by calling those places to schedule a tour. You may want to initially narrow down choices by location (proximity to your home).

B) It's a pain in the butt, but I suggest touring 4-5 schools. We had no idea what we were looking for in a pre-school when we began this process, and this is a fine way to start, because as long as you're willing to do the footwork, your preferences, values, and concerns will become clear to you as you see how different the schools are in their:

• philosophies (e.g. free play vs. structured time)
• requirements (potty-training - yes or no)
• space/resources (run-down and dingy vs. sparkly vs. homey)
• general vibe (a little more loosy goosy vs. a little more formal, conservative)
• diversity of population
• cost $ (the places we visited ranged from $900 to $2800, for 2 year olds)
• program offerings (#days/wk, #hours/day, time of day, additional daycare hours)
• the role of religion (many pre-schools are affiliated with churches and vary in their approach, if any, to religious education. They also vary in their openness to other faiths and how they accomodate of children and families of other faiths)
  

Also, bring your child along with you on the tours. His/her reaction to the place will be informative and interesting. During our Tour de Pre-schools, Roan had a tantrum every time we left a site (he didn't want to leave). While I knew he was fairly social in nature, that helped reassure me of his general readiness to attend school. In fact, I began to feel that were he to not get into a pre-school, he would be deprived of a real need to be around other kids and adults more often.

Finally, I recommend the blitz approach. Try to squeeze in your tours within a couple weeks time, rather than belabor your exploration. You might as well get it over with, and you may likely be looking at waiting lists.

C) Unfortunately, there's no time for dilly dally. We thought we were getting a head start by touring schools in May for the coming fall. Wrong! Turns out, most parents apply at least 1 year in advance. And they probably conduct their tours a couple seasons prior to applying. Many people put their kids on multiple waiting lists.

But once you're in, you're in. Most places will extend priority enrollment to your child in subsequent years. That's why you may want to consider a pre-school for your 2 year old, even if it's not important to you that your child attend school prior to age 3, to ensure your child's placement for a 3 yr old class. If you feel your child is not ready to attend pre-school at age 2, consider a mommy & me program (like at Brown Memorial) that will usher you into a 3 yr old program the following year.

$.25 Horse

This joy ride is a bona fide flashback from my childhood in the 70s. I lived for these rides, especially upon tortuous trips to Wal-Mart and the grocery store with my mom ("I'm only stopping for a gallon of milk" - this was the BIG LIE and bane of our precious playtime - not to mention my mom was the #1 chattiest person south of the Chicago city line, which added another 73 minutes to each errand). I practically got goose bumps slipping a quarter into the slot as the vintage equestrian hunk of metal instantaneously lurched forward with a carnival zeal that would tickle a liability lawyer's sensibility. And these were no cheapskate rides. At $.25, this horse keeps going and going and going...So, if you're in the neighborhood of Belvedere Square, look for the horse in front of "Brat Decor." Plop your kid on. Or ride it yourself (there's no breakable plastic on this dandy of a relic).

Kill Diego Love Diego

Is war genetic?
Here is our little Shiva - one minute loving Diego, the next minute, body slamming and threatening to throw him over the balcony. Albeit, he is 100% cotton, but this is not too far off from Roan's usual impulse in his playgroups with other children. You know the phrase, "why don't you go pick on someone your own size?" Roan is currently the poster child for this suggestion. Put him in the company of 4 and 5 yr old boys, and he's a wonderful, adoring, respectful little guy. Throw him in the middle of a fruity little singalong with his peers and all of a sudden, Roan turns into a heat seeking missile, especially targeting girls, and sometimes babies. I feel like the UN at his music class, with a mission to protect the civilians, but unfortunately, not always quick enough to prevent or intervene. Plus, he loves to destroy books, toys, plants, and anything else he can get his hands on ("wook, Mama, bwoken").

Time for a Haircut

Roan recently got his first homemade haircut, a la barber Lavina. It is undoubtedly a bad haircut, but somehow we love it more than anything in the world. The professional barbers make him look too grown-up. So we just chopped a little here and there, to conserve his baby-ness.

Video Experiment

Let's see what happens when I try to embed a video...

"Puppy Walks Puppy" (flashback to Roan at 13 months)



Our friends Jen and Ian kindly allowed Nala to have a slumber party at our house. This was a good reality check for us, as we were entertaining the idea of getting a dog. While it was great to see them playing like siblings, we're just not ready for that much poop in our lives. Double poop duty outdid us in 24 hrs time.

A Belated Memorial Day Sentiment

This morning, we arrived early for a preschool tour at a Presbyterian church, so as we sat parked in front of the church's cemetery, Casey said to Roan, just to drum up some small talk, "look at all the dead people, Roan."

"Oh, wow," Roan said. "It's beautiful" ("bootifool"). And then, "wook, Dada, big sky."

Roan can also say, "that's terrible," and, "that's disgusting," and the context in which he says these phrases is usually amusing, as he hasn't quite gotten the full meaning. When the woods caught on fire in Bambi, he said, "that's disgusting." Another day in the car, Roan asked Casey to draw a "big crane" (as in John Deer) on his etch a sketch. When Casey passed his artwork to Ro in the backseat, Roan said, "oh, that's terrible. That's disgusting."

Whose Afraid of Sir Topham Hat?

Well, everyone should be. The Rev. W. Audry must have had a very stern father or grandfather - the kind that inspires fear and respect, like the great stag in Bambi (really, would it have killed him to extend Bambi just a little bit of warmth in passing, the tiniest hint of a smile at least?). I gotta say, sometimes when we're watching Thomas the Tank Engine's adventures, I find myself saying, "aww, come on, Sir Topham Hat, take it easy on those little engines." Like every good profit-loss fearing CEO, he is a totally no-nonsense dude. The trains are regularly scolded for causing "confusion and delay." Casey has a colleague whose 3-year old son asked him one day, just to make sure, "Dad, am I a useful and reliable engine?" So yeah, while Sir Topham Hat isn't the warmest and fuzziest of father figures, you gotta at least laugh at anyone who says, "botheration!" in distress.

We Break for a Commercial: Biscuits as Big as Your Head

If you're ever near western West Virginia, you must stop at a Tudor's Biscuit World. We're generally the last people to order a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich at a drive-through at a chain franchise, however small or local. But trust us, you won't be sorry! There's a good reason West Virginians want a Tudor's on every rural route - primarily, the big, fresh, fluffy, warm, moist, Southern-style biscuits; a generous portion of perfectly cooked bacon; and yummy melted cheddar cheese. I'll admit - I try not to scrutinize the egg or wonder for too long how it's cooked. And yeah, I have to kill the software program in my head that wants to read the labels, inquire, or google the source of meat, agricultural use of antibiotics, MSG, processed sugar, trans fats, etc. It would be really cool if they didn't use Grade F cheese like they did in my grade school cafeteria (I think I'm still paying the price for all those hot lunches). But you know what, I also have a software program in my head called, "what the hell?!" - reserved for special trips to West Virginia and Chicago. And as for the latter, you MUST check out these YouTube videos that are close to my heart (via my stomach):
Gene & Jude's Hot Dogs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BImfmptkIpk
Chicago Beef Sandwiches
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8yVjXKVDQ8&NR=1

Excavation!

Subtitle: Life Beyond Roan's Wildest Dreams OR
Uncle Chuck is the Greatest Guy on Earth (after Dada of course)

Picture this - while lounging around a scrumptious bonfire and roasting marshmellows, frogs burping in the night, the hills of LaValette, West Virginia suddenly come alive with a bright light, a high-pitched "ERR-ER-ER-ER," the rumble of gravel, and then the earth-shattering sound of, say, a colossal woodpecker echoing through the trees. It is:
A) An alien landing
B) A colossal woodpecker
C) Your two-year old son driving a John Deer excavator and operating the jackhammer on a slab of concrete 30 feet away.

Hint: The gods of Truck Heaven looked favorably upon Roan that night.


If we had a dollar for every time Roan said "TRUCK!" these last couple of years (universally applied to anything larger than a car), we could send him to the $15,000/year private school down the road from us. But who needs Lacrosse when nothing makes your kid happier than construction?

West Virginia

Last weekend we squeezed into our tiny Toyota Tercel ('95 and still going strong!) and headed to the hills of WV to celebrate Casey's sister Molly's graduation from nursing school, Molly's daughter Lindsey's college graduation, and Molly & Chuck's wedding.

It was a great O'Brien family get-together, including Roan's Grandma Becky (below) and all of Molly's 5 children.
Roan LOVED hanging out with the guys and took a special liking to his cousin Zack, giving him lots of hugs during a long tractor ride through the mountains.


Roan also made himself at home with his cousin Tyler and bonded with his Uncle Chuck (see next blog entry titled "Excavation!" for more on that). He didn't want to miss A THING, and so never slept. We battled with him for 3 hours, two days in a row, trying to get him to take a nap so he could stay up longer and enjoy more, but he refused. That meant double tantrums on his part (and a couple on between us also), as he, and then we, were overtired. It was definitely an exercise in bringing a horse to water and watching that horse not only refuse to drink but stampede and snort and threaten to trample you to death if you get in the way of his fun. What can ya do? I mean, there was definitely a lot of fun going on, including his first bonfire and smores.

Birthday Cake

Here's a photo from a couple weeks ago, when we celebrated Roan's and Lavina's birthdays.
Little Chipmunk, Eating his 2nd Year Birthday Cake
Already so civilized. Compare to last year...

One Year Birthday Cake
Ohhh yeeaahh, red velvet!
Check out the video of Roan's first cake!

Couch Potatoe

Or in this case - Ikea Chair Potatoe (this is Roan's chair). Sometime in the last few months, Roan entered into a love affair with TV. Well, not TV, as we don't have cable anymore, but he is more than satisfied by the dozen DVDs we have. And I mean more than satisfied - it's on the level of a bonafide addiction (or perhaps I should say never satisfied, as there never seems to be enough, in his opinion). We actually witnessed him go through a withdrawal process this morning when we cut him off after a half hour. He kicked and whined and screamed ("BUZZ!" for Buzz Lightyear), to the delight of our neighbors I'm sure. These days, his favorite DVDs are: 101 Dalmations; Toy Story; Nemo; Thomas; Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit; Milo and Otis; Wonder Pets; and Charlotte's Web.

A Day Out with Thomas

For a kid like Roan, this is better than Santa Clause (in fact, he was afraid of Sir Topham Hat the way many kids are afraid of Santa Clause). However, because he was SO excited and wanted to do everything 450mph, it ended up being a somewhat painful experience for him as he was continually frustrated by our efforts to contain his wild Thomas frenzy. He wanted to run in all directions at once, and he threatened to hit, grab, shove, or throw a stone at any child who got in his way. Waiting in line for his turn at anything was a downright existential crisis. And of course with everything, he wants to "do it self," so trying to help him only further thwarts his self will run riot. So, we may have underestimated all the struggling we were in for, but in spite of it all, it was a great experience, and we were amazed and impressed with the vast world and enterprise of Thomas fans and marketers. Roan was one of throngs of children geared up in their Thomas hats and t-shirts, pouring in from a gigantic parking lot in old industrial Baltimore. If only the Rev. could see the scale of investment, preservation, fun and creativity that has spawned from his original stories, we think it would blow his mind.

Orifice Obsession!

I wonder if all parents look ahead at times to those developmental milestones of a more dreaded nature and through some sort of built-in denial/wishful thinking mechanism, cross their fingers and effectively convince themselves that by some stroke of karmic luck or genius parenting their child will be different and spare his parents a bit of torment, fear, or general annoyance. Maybe he'll just skip that phase. Maybe he won't be a biter...a hitter... an up-the-nose-with-an-object shover-upper. And then that day arrives when you no longer shoot dirty looks at those horribly deficient and negligent parents whose two-year old dared push and shove your precious, bewildered, evil-free one-year old on the playground. Or when you find yourself driving your two-year old to the doctor to have one of the little rubber feet from under your answering machine extracted from the upper depths of his nose. Roan, God bless him, is still sweet enough to immediately confess his mischief. The first time he figured out how to remove the rubber feet, he brought them to me like a dog happily brings you a dead squirrel. I said to myself, "no, he won't put those up his nose," and I shoved them back into the machine. About ten minutes later, he came running to me with only one rubber foot, and when I turned the machine upside down, I saw the other foot missing. "Hmmm," I said to myself. I looked hard at him. "Oh well, it's just lost." But then he started to complain, "boogy, mama, boogy" (his word for booger), and he started sneezing. I used a flashlight to look up his nose. Didn't see anything. Clean as a whistle. Hmmm. I tapped both sides of his nose. Do they always feel this hard? I tapped my own. That wasn't helpful. Hmmm. Twenty minutes later - "boogy, mama, boogy." This time, I laid him upside down in the brightest light coming through the window, shined the flashlight yet again, and sure enough - there it was - a little black rubber foot effectively wedged almost beyond my sight and definitely beyond my finger's reach. But the ends of my tweezers seemed too sharp to stick up there. For a moment, I experienced the panic of the new mom - Ahh, he's going to need surgery! And who knows what else is up there in the nether regions of his sinus cavities! I asked him, "do we need to go see Dr. Gopal?" "Yes, Dr. Gopal," he said. He wasn't worried. He sat peacefully in the car, whistling through his nose. He could see I was stressed. He actually said, "poor mama" (where did he learn to say that?). As always, he was super cooperative for the doctor. As usual, fascinated with anything medical. Anyway, it was truly no big deal. Just another initiation into the parenting club.

Wheels

Roan LOVES to drive these little cars. We recently bought him his very own "Cosy Coupe" at a yard sale and put it on the balcony for him. Best $1.50 we ever spent.

Roan Sleeping

This is a beautiful thing indeed, after an incredibly difficult adjustment period, trying to get Roan to sleep in our new apt. For the first few weeks, he screamed bloody murder and was inconsolable before every nap and bedtime (we were so afraid one of the neighbors would call the cops!). We couldn't leave him alone in his room. It was odd because he seemed to love his room and the apartment in general. It was just the way his stress from the moving process manifested - extreme separation anxiety. But he's doing great now. In fact, he asks us to leave him alone his crib after storytime. He says, "lay down."

Roan is definitely the Linus sort. Here he is with his "booey" (name for "blanket"). He still sleeps with his "paci" and he likes to have an array of stuffed animals. If we don't put him in jammies, it is guaranteed he will liberate himself from his diaper and pee everywhere.

New Family Portraits

2 Year Family Portrait, April 2008

1 Year Family Portrait, April 2007

Thinking Professor

Whenever we ask Roan to do "thinking professor," he points to his cheek and says, "Hmmmmm." This is one of our favorite tricks.

Roan's New Room

Roan's new room is at least twice the size of his last room. He loves it. It's bright and sunny. He can sit in the window sill and look at trees and squirrels out the window.

Springtime in Baltimore

Near the Tot Lot in Rogers Forge (his new school district).

Chef Roan

Cooking remains one of Roan's favorite activities. Here he is with his birthday present from Mama and Dada - a vintage style red kitchen set that Casey, Lavina, and Heather worked until midnight to put together. When he's in the mood to cook, he exclaims, "cooking stuff!!"

Visit from "Hair-er"

Roan LOVES his Auntie Heather, who flew in from Champaign, IL for a 5 day visit to celebrate Roan's and Lavina's birthday. There was no initial shyness, no warming up period, no reprinting of the kinship memory. From the moment we picked her up from the airport to the moment she left, all we heard every 10 seconds was "Hair-er!" (how he pronounces "Heather"). It was like, Mama Who? We were very sad to see her go. :(

Our New Apartment

Here's Roan in our living room, tucked in the corner of the couch in his jammies watching Thomas the Tank Engine. As far as apartments go, we love it. But it's been an adjustment, for sure, after living in a single family home. For example, you don't realize how LOUD your toddler is, until you've got people above and below you. We live in a very peaceful community of mostly retired residents. I feel like I should wear a shirt all the time that says, "I'm sorry." For every understanding grandparent in the building, there's one or two horribly crochety a-holes. Someone in our building recently complained to the rental office because someone forgot to clean the lint trap in the dryer. The manager called us first, because we're new, and then printed flyers and tacked them to everyone's door to emphasize the importance of dryer maintenance. ANYway, we're settling in and enjoying all the trees, birds, and sunshine. We like having one foot in the city and one foot in the county (our place is right on the line, technically in the county). We can sleep with the windows open, leave the apt with the windows open, leave crap in the car, go for long walks without fear of being accosted, and hear the rustling of trees instead of 24/7 sirens, traffic, sub woofers, and police helicopters. And, we're super close to all our favorite familiar urban stompin grounds.

Roan Turns Two!

Two Years Old at Sherwood Gardens

As usual, we're about 5 months behind on the blog. But selling a house and moving with a toddler is a good excuse, right? Anyway, check out our little guy now - not so little anymore! Here he is at Sherwood Gardens, a now ritual springtime visit, as he first graced the garden at 8 days old (his first trip out into the world).

1 Year Old at Sherwood Gardens

8 Days Old at Sherwood Gardens